release

If your butcher told you he was vegan, would you doubt him? If your gun shop owner told you he was religiously opposed to killing? How about your rabbi with a deep faith in the messiah Jesus Chirst?

You’d wonder what kind of axe they had to grind.

Now, via Sticks of Fire, comes the news that Joe Redner claims to be gay. Redner, for those who didn’t grow up as adolescent males in the greater Tampa Bay area, is the king of strip clubs in a city renowned for its strip clubs. Joe is also a plaintiff in a federal civil-rights lawsuit against against the Hillsborough County commission, who recently banned the county from acknowledging or participating in gay pride events. Redner’s lawsuit risked being thrown out because, unless he could show the county’s policy specfically affected him, he would have no basis for the suit.

Hence, Redner has filed papers with the court claiming to be gay. He has publicly stated his confimation of his sexual orientation. But most folks, who associate Redner with the gyrations of flat-bellied, large breasted, taut-buttocked dancers of the undeniably female persuasion, have their doubts.

Consider: Redner told the Tribune he has been married twice and has five children. He said he has had no homosexual partners. He said he has known he was gay his entire life.

Responding to another question Tuesday, from News Channel 8, he said yes, he was gay two weeks ago - before the legal papers were filed. Then he added: “If I told you no, I’d be committing perjury. If I told you no, they’d have something to stand on. I’m not going to do that.”.

Married twice with five children. No homosexual partners, ever. Either this guy was so deep in the closet he could have been the White Witch of Narnia, or he’s doing this now for political and legal reasons. Other of Redner’s statements make it seem the latter is the likely answer:

If I’d have been in Nazi Germany and I thought I could use the court system to help the oppressed, I would have become Jewish.

He does have a point - one who observes discrimination against a religious group, then joins that religion by choice, in the face of discrimination agaisnt that group, could make at least a plausible claim that he had standing to move forward. (He would still have to show that he was specifically affected by the challenged policy once he affiliated.) In this case - Redner has chosen to become homosexual. After all, many people think being gay is a choice - if this is true, Redner is calling their bluff by making this very public choice in the name of of defending gay rights.

Here’s Redner’s problem. He’s admitted to knowing he was gay “his entire life.” I think he could make a case now, that he chooses now to be gay - but I think he’s going to have a tough credibility problem by saying that he has always been gay but never disclosed it, espcially in light of his admitted willingness to “become Jewish” to defend religious rights. Redner’s attorneys had better sit down with him and re-examine whether they’re exposing themselves to perjury charges.

I really tried to work a “straight face” pun in here, but if I leave that as an exercise for the reader you’ve no one to blame but yourselves for your wretchedness.